I Have Returned

Greetings!

So I haven't forgotten about this blog.

I finally had gotten a nice job, seasonal, but it works and pays really well.

My legal issues are behind me, and all I can say about that is 'I won!'.

I plan on updating and adding more to the blog soon so keep in touch!

--Air

Reborn.

That last post I did, as much as I want to, I won't take it down.

I wrote that out of anger, fear, depression...

And as humiliating as it is... It was what I was feeling at the time. I still feel some of those feelings, but for some reason the fates gave me that little hurdle, and I will have to deal with it once it comes at me head on.

For now, I feel better. I am allowing myself to feel better and not get angry with myself.

Today, I feel like my depression is really starting to fade away. Like my shoulders feel lighter and I can breathe again, and see everything clearly without a cloud hanging over my head.

Despite life's hurdles, I can tell myself-- "Everything will be ok."

And with that, I leave with my head held high.

When Life Gives You Lemons...

When life gives you lemons, grab a mother f*cking bat and smash the shit out of them!

Why is it that once you feel you are ahead of life, life decides to through an even bigger curve ball? I know that even this happens, I have a blessed life. I tell everyone close to me that I love them and tell them I appreciate them. But no... it's not good enough for Life.

I mean... I know that I have messed up a LOT since I graduated high school. I know you are supposed to make mistakes but I feel like I get corned and have no way out but to make the bad decision. Like 'I know this is stupid, but I have no other choice.'

Really... I just want to finish school, I want to get a job, and I want to one day be with the guy I have a crush on.

Is it THAT difficult?

I look at the goal, and it just seems so farfetched from what is going.

I lie awake at night, I can't sleep. I can't eat, I constantly shake.

I am 23 and I already have a few gray hairs! I can't even afford hair dye.

I am a burden to my family.

Just someone to wrap their arms around and me tell me, it's going to be ok.

It takes just one person-- one person to mess with your life. Big brother is watching... probably even reading this. I can't even joy anything anymore. I live in constant fear, and I do the best I can to hide it behind my pearly white smile.